The unknown: First contact

Any battle to be won should be prepared in advance


Luck may favor the bold, but the amount of attempts may discourage many on their route


This may seem like an unimportant step, but it is the first one where the chance to be with the one you want can forever be lost


Finding those that share your interests and are willing to take you are always hard to find, even if you have broad interests and a willingness to go all the way



After viewing a profile of your interest there are things that should stick to your mind


What he is searching for, what common interests you share and those you don't share, his physical location and your ability to meet him if the opportunity arises



After taking this step it is time to start a conversation



It is preferable to try few approaches, but do something personalized than to send automatic "same-for-all" messages


I am sure you do not like spam on your mailbox so try not to go that way


It is quite easy to spot those messages and it is a real turn off



A first message doesn't need to be a Pulitzer prize but should show your interest in him.



If your offer does not match his (both top or into different scenes for example) you will need to supply a connection point on that conversation as soon as possible


Interest fades quickly so it is better to hit while hot


As a general rule there should be reciprocity in the amount of exposure that one should do, independently of the role played


A name for a name, a face for a face, objectives for objectives



In my game I discard any person that by the second message iteration after I present my name and face does not do the same


That just means there is no interest in proceeding


Another turn-off comes from forgetfulness


Not being able to remember the place where the conversation ended is a bad trade



The first messages should be used for presentation purposes, to build a connecting bridge between players


After that, work should be done to strengthen and widen it, step by step


Going too quickly or too slow will make the catch fly away



Being able to find that balance takes practice


But unless you take the chance you will never achieve what you proposed yourself to do.



So give it a shot when ready