Stuck in the middle

Once lost at sea, surrounded by mighty clouds of rain and thunder, the sun and the cool air breeze now passes over your face



A gentle touch after such a shocking moment, makes everything seem so unreal that it feels like it didn't happen, that it was all in your mind



As time passes the mind starts playing tricks, corrupting and diluting what was felt until all ends in a blur





Every climax leads to an anti-climax



A fight against change, a desire to return to the normal self



Even if you hate it



But it is comfortable to return, to return to be the piece in the clock that ticks at the same regular intervals as once before



It is what it should be, what must be





I harbor within me the desire to finish the training of the slaves I once initiated, specially the ones with whom I still maintain a connection, even if it is only through a fake connection in  an on-line profile



It is not my call to make it into a real one, even if I may wish for it to happen




Choices have to be voluntary and even if you do want it, events may prevent you from doing so





Time moves swiftly



Days become months



Months become years




The distance between us grew beyond the point where it could restart from the point it was when my hand grabbed the chain you once wore, the one you have stuck up in a drawer or a shoe box, tucked somewhere out of sight





I still keep the key for the padlock that held that chain, the contract that you signed and the memories of events that happened between us




Freedom of choice made you come to me



And my gift to you was the freedom to forget me and what happened



To allow you to live out your life the way you decided





I may check up on you to see where you stand and the choices you made in between




I will not tell you to come even if we talk again



As it is your choice to do so if you wish




The only assurance I can offer you is that if you hold the chain I gave you, there is still a chance for you to return and continue





Events happen when it is the correct time to do so





I can wait



It is my privilege to be able to do so





The world will continue to move



New slaves will occupy the space you once were and the memory of them will be added next to yours as time moves for everyone





There is no shame in saying hi after so long or that you want to be under my rule



It can happen again or not, but unless you ask you will never know





It is by will alone that you set your mind in motion




And maybe I will be there once again

Pain

The pain... The pain...



So many complain about it, so many run away from it



And some crave for it as if they need it to live





Before we go deeper in its exploration, let's start with the basics




What is pain




According to The International Association for the Study of Pain, "Pain is an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage"



When the body feels pain, it knows something is wrong and acts in some way to make it stop



But pain does not only come from external stimulus



Some pains exist in the mind as well as in the body, sometimes much more painful than the physical ones





As a baby, the first mechanism of defense is to cry, to let your progenitors know that something is not right



Unfortunately it is the only way to communicate so every problem, from discomfort, hunger or pain get the same response, making it very hard for parents to know what to do




That mechanism changes as we grow and we learn how to control ourselves



Some become able to control the effects of pain on their mind, from diminishing the effects to fully ignoring it



But the pain is still there, waiting for the open window to show its face





Becoming an adult comes in many societies after an initiation ceremony, where one has to show his ability to be in control and endure, to prove to all the rest that he is strong and by demonstrating so, that he will become a valuable asset to his community



In modern civilization, we have changed from the endurance to pain to just endurance and strength, through a series of sport trials or by the integration into the military or some force connected to it



By demonstrating our ability to withstand the difficulties at work for the long hours and menial tasks or the long workouts at the gym





Even if we change the method, the objective is still the same



To prove that you are strong





But as that replacement that seems like sugar, but tastes like nothing of the sort and just leaves us craving for the original, a part of our wiring desires to feel more



The softness of fabrics does not seem to fit the ruggedness of the original animal that we were, fighting for life, feeling our heart beating harder, the focus of the hunt and the satisfaction of a challenge achieved




Your conscious might say one thing but the subconscious asks for more





There was a German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, who wrote



Only great pain is the ultimate liberator of the spirit…. I doubt that such pain makes us ‘better’; but I know that it makes us more profound





Pain is neither good or bad



A beast capable of making us do things we could not imagine doing, showing us our abilities even if we doubt ourselves





You may try do deny it but it is still a part of us



Jailer, companion or friend



It is what we make of it








For the good or for the bad


But always there

Perspectives

I believe everyone has in the 21rst century has taken or been in a photo



For those with the happy trigger, specially for those armed with the selfish stick, you may have probably discovered that there is a specific side where you seem to look prettier than all the rest



A specific position of the face, torso, arms and legs where you seem more attractive



A special look that makes you shine



A specific perspective of you



Everyone has different sides to be looked on, appart from the physical



Some sides look pretty at first glance, while others do not



You are a person of different sides, and each side has something that makes it shine



The biggest difficulty is finding it



You may hate that side of you, or you may love it



But it is yours nevertheless



Have you ever been in a situation where you do something that you think is awful and not worth the time you are spending, but that someone else thinks it is awesome and praises you for that accomplishment



It is not only mirrors that can provide a different look on what you are



People can do that as well





The same happens with you being a slave





You may think you are worthless and only good enough to be used as a doormat





But there is something in you that catches my eye



That you accept to be made weak although being strong



That you deny yourself a personality to become what I want you to be



That you reject having a life just to be able to live in mine



That you are able to endure the pain, discomfort, torture and humiliation for my own satisfaction





Make me like that side of you





And make that side shine