Stuck in the middle

Once lost at sea, surrounded by mighty clouds of rain and thunder, the sun and the cool air breeze now passes over your face



A gentle touch after such a shocking moment, makes everything seem so unreal that it feels like it didn't happen, that it was all in your mind



As time passes the mind starts playing tricks, corrupting and diluting what was felt until all ends in a blur





Every climax leads to an anti-climax



A fight against change, a desire to return to the normal self



Even if you hate it



But it is comfortable to return, to return to be the piece in the clock that ticks at the same regular intervals as once before



It is what it should be, what must be





I harbor within me the desire to finish the training of the slaves I once initiated, specially the ones with whom I still maintain a connection, even if it is only through a fake connection in  an on-line profile



It is not my call to make it into a real one, even if I may wish for it to happen




Choices have to be voluntary and even if you do want it, events may prevent you from doing so





Time moves swiftly



Days become months



Months become years




The distance between us grew beyond the point where it could restart from the point it was when my hand grabbed the chain you once wore, the one you have stuck up in a drawer or a shoe box, tucked somewhere out of sight





I still keep the key for the padlock that held that chain, the contract that you signed and the memories of events that happened between us




Freedom of choice made you come to me



And my gift to you was the freedom to forget me and what happened



To allow you to live out your life the way you decided





I may check up on you to see where you stand and the choices you made in between




I will not tell you to come even if we talk again



As it is your choice to do so if you wish




The only assurance I can offer you is that if you hold the chain I gave you, there is still a chance for you to return and continue





Events happen when it is the correct time to do so





I can wait



It is my privilege to be able to do so





The world will continue to move



New slaves will occupy the space you once were and the memory of them will be added next to yours as time moves for everyone





There is no shame in saying hi after so long or that you want to be under my rule



It can happen again or not, but unless you ask you will never know





It is by will alone that you set your mind in motion




And maybe I will be there once again

Goodbye

The alarm clock awakes me



The bed is empty aside from me in this dark place I call bedroom



A new day begins



I make my way to the bathroom to ready myself for work


On my way I pass by the training room and there is nothing there as well



Everything has been cleaned yesterday


The chains on the floor put away


The gear returned to the boxes


They are no longer needed


There is no one to use them



Life has returned to the same it was before



I wash myself and prepare the food to take to work



I go to the training room to do my morning workout

No one sits on the red rug watching me do my routine, waiting to for it to end to dress me, to receive the prize of being allowed to touch and worship me for that quick moment before I leave



No more



I get my gear and head to the station

I take my place on the train and read the news of the world


In my head lingers still the task of setting up his work for tomorrow, setting the goals to be achieved and the rewards to offer if he succeeds in pleasing me with his actions


But there is none to live up to the challenge and claim what I have to offer



The journey passes quickly while I am lost in my thoughts


I leave the train and head over to my work



The hours pass by



I look over from the window and I think about how he is


If he was able to face his old life and reject the cravings that were imprinted in his mind from the time he was at my service


A part of me desires that that memory remains within him and another desires for it to forever leave his mind so his life can continue as it were before


That he can find fulfilment in the tasks of the day as I am doing right now



It is not my place now to care for him


He is no longer under my wing



Memories are difficult to erase and it is futile to do so


What is lived must be learned to make one stronger and more able than before


That is his task now


One that I cannot help him with



The day rushes its way with nothing really done

A wasted day in memories for no use



I set myself for that station again


No one waits me there to take my bag and escort me to the train, trying to make a sort of conversation to make up for the solitude he had faced that day


He lives now his own routine in his own world



The train takes me back to my place



In my mind words swirl into a text, to be transfixed into a post, to be presented on a blog


Words made from the sweat and tears from one who has served me with all his body and mind and gave the inspiration for this small moment of connection


One has occupied a space in my life that was made for him


An imperfect place where he learned to fill the gaps, lost from the world and all his connections


A difficult challenge to live and survive


One that was accomplished with hard work and dedication



I open the door of my house




All that is left to say is




you have made me proud