Doubts

There are days where nothing seems to make sense



All the hopes lost, the equipment spread on the floor, the house messed up




So much effort in preparation


all those emotions lived and thrown to the trash by those that will never return


or wasted in those that are too far from their own comprehension




The room is displaced and dark and I am here


lost in my thoughts where no one can reach me


neither to praise nor to demonish me for what I do




Doubts are also there


I am also human



Questions come, as to what I do and why I should do it


If what I do is right or wrong



I may ask, but there is no one to answer me


My life would be simpler if I could think that way




But I know it is not so




The right things can be done for the wrong reasons


as the wrong things can be done for the right reasons



Some things need to be done


Both for me and for the ones that come to me



I do these things for my own selfish reasons, as those that come do them for their own



There is no mandate to be a slave once in a lifetime


no stamps to put on a book


or a grade to achieve



There is nothing that forces me to be a master for the same reasons



There is only our own desire to do it



I know of the beauty of those that hide in the shade


The small treasures buried there


The value gained from these encounters



I like seeing it


exploring it


developing it



And there is a place in my slaves' lives to do so


There is too much effort in trying to logically justify why things are done instead of just accepting that people have different likes and needs


and that I am entitled to having my own



I will not blame myself for being who I am


And is part of my identity and will continue to be, even if I choose to ignore it



We are not machines


doing all the same


with the same bodies


eating the same food


dressing the same outfit




I accept myself in all aspects as well as my own path


If I don't, who will




My faults and virtues are for you to evaluate under your own point of view, if you wish to spend your time with it



But feel free to keep them to yourself if you disagree